Please pray for my son, Stephen Whitman.
- July 17th, 2015
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We do not know one another but I am reaching out to the body of Christ for prayer for my son who lives in Eugene. I live in a suburb of Kansas City and my son, Stephen Whitman, is from here. A year ago, he moved to Eugene, sight unseen. He has a friend there and was intending to have a job with the landscaping company where his friend works. Although he started there, it was not the right work for him. After living in a motel for a couple of weeks he did find a good job and is happy working for Yellow Emperor, a business that manufactures private label lotions and natural supplements.
My son loves Eugene but he is very lonely. He is not an outgoing person and not the type of guy to go to bars to meet people. Although he has work friends, the company is only about 8 people and the ones who do socialize go out drinking which is not what my son does. However, he will not go to church or reach out socially to volunteer or try to meet people. This is compounded by his personality; he is depressed and does not believe that life is a worthwhile experience. He has no interest in “getting ahead” or just engaging in the things adults have to do to survive. He is not particularly interested in having a family because he sees that as a very selfish thing to do. He has talked about suicide since he was in high school because he just doesn’t want to keep living this way. But he says he won’t do it because he doesn’t have a weapon or pills, and he’d probably talk himself out of it. He did see a therapist here for a while in his teens but didn’t get much out of it. He doesn’t want to take medication, but self-medicates with marijuana.
Adding to this is that he is a generous person, really to a fault. Two months ago two of his friends from KC moved to Eugene so he got a 2 bedroom apartment. However, his friends do not have jobs yet, so my son is paying all of the expenses, and gave each of them one of the bedrooms. He said he did that because both of these guys have no family to turn to and he wants to be the one to help, even though he knows that sometimes he is taken advantage of. He gets frustrated that other people do not want to be generous and do the right thing.
He was raised in a Baptist church here: Lenexa Baptist Church but has turned his back on God. Although he asked Jesus into his heart at age 8, by the time he went to high school he said he just didn’t believe anymore. He just will not accept that the world is messed up because of sin and because of US, and that if God is so powerful He could change everything but won’t. He thinks original sin is a joke. He says he has read the Bible many times and believes Jesus was a good man but just cannot now accept the idea of the cross and being saved from sin. He says that it makes no sense that we can continue to sin and keep asking for forgiveness. He intellectualizes so many issues and cannot understand why I will just accept on faith, especially because I’m a lawyer. Where’s the proof?, he asks.
My husband and I have a good relationship with him and this son (we have 4 children) does frequently call and text me, especially when he is low. I am grateful for that and just grieve for how sad he is and I don’t know how to fix it. Of course, I pray and I know God has a plan. I try to talk to him about that but he sees no evidence of anything fruitful coming from his life.
Interestingly, he has a younger sister who is in graduate school in Portland and they see each other, usually every other weekend. She is studying psychology and is very good at talking to him and trying to see where he is and she is not too worried, but she has also discussed with him that it is his life and he can choose whether to end it. Pastor, I grieve because all 4 of my children were raised in the church and accepted Christ and none of them are bearing fruit.
Why am I rambling and telling you all of this? I just covet the prayers of believers because I don’t know what else to do. This son is such a wonderful person; he was always my happiest child, always smiling, and for the last 10 years he is not the person I know he can be. It makes me so sad to see him this way. He will not go to church because I know if he did he could make friends and enjoy life, but he says there is nothing for him there.
Please pray for my son, Stephen Whitman. He is God’s child and I know Christ is right there ready, just waiting for him to open the door. Thank you for reading this and for keeping my son in your prayers.
Melinda Whitman
